thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
