It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
