At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
