he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize