Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
