Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i dont even know how to be here
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
