I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
