i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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