so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize