I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
