Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
