I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
