thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We need a shit load of segways right now
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
