Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
What a dumb baby whore.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
