insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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