yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
