she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
