these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
