3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I am available for nakedness
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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