He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
