riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We need to get me chipped asap
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
