Welp...herpes.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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