where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
