All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
