Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
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Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.