So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE