We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.