i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You can't die you're my only democrat family member