Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
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thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
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I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy