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Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
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