Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
