Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
