tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
