College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
