Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
