And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
