well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
