Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
