Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
