Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
