I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
