Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
she looked like the before picture.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
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Edward fifth and chaser hands
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
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Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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