I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
