i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
