i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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