when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
