hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize