i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
