I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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