You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
farters have to be the big spoon...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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