I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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