they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
