Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
