ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He uses pillows to masturbate.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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