Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
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P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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