I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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