I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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