Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
