what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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