with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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