Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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