new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
