Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize