We're facebook friends in real life
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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