I got chris browned last night
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
