I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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