Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
