I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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